The Cruise to Tourist Trap City

Recently, I took a cruise through the Inside Passage of Alaska, it is without question one of the most breathtakingly beautiful places on earth.  Its beauty is virtually unequaled, with a magic and serenity that can virtually lower blood pressure by 20 points instantly.  To say this land is post card picturesque does not do it justice.

But hidden amongst all that beauty and serenity are very large traps, no, not the kind that gets bears, wolves or seals, but rather human traps.  Yes, that’s right—human traps.  They come in the form of stores (mostly jewelry), you are lured into the traps by bait that comes in the form of freebees.  The cruise lines lead the way in baiting the traps by handing out little books that offer all kinds of free trinkets, baubles and beads at each store.

The largest of these tourist trap cities are Ketchikan, Juneau and Skagway Alaska.  The cities have given license to several jewelry and other tourist type stores that line the dock area of all three cities.  This makes it virtually impossible to get to other attractions without passing through the gauntlet of carnival barkers trying desperately to lure you into their web (store).  And, the books given out by the cruise lines offer three different trinkets that require visits to three stores in all three cities, so to get the set you must stop in all locations.

So, after spending half of your day locked into the one place that I went on vacation to escape in the first place, I am pitched by every flim-flam person in the northern hemisphere.  To make matters that much more aggravating, what they sell in these stores is overpriced junk.  What really pisses me off about this is that little is ever mentioned in the promotional materials about the barrage of trinket hawkers you will encounter.  Most of the promotional materials shows the natural beauty of the region, and there is much to see, but there is little mention of the retail molestation that awaits your departure from the ship.

Now, be very certain that unless you are traveling alone (and that might be a little weird), one member of the group will want to go and collect all the free trinkets (estimated collective value: $5.00).  And, if you are traveling with children, brace yourself, the company with the cutesy little mouse has a trap all its own.  The mouse company offers all its cute, lovable characters available at all of its stores, to be added onto a charm bracelet (parents—this where your day is going!).

Now, here is my question: why would anyone go out to one of the most beautiful, natural places on earth and be bombarded by the very thing that plagues us—retail hell?  Maybe it is the fact that these cities have opened their shores to the seemingly endless supply of peddlers looking for the fast buck that bothers me most.  It seems that no matter where we go, we are plagued by the infestation of the rat-race!

Talk to Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2018 All Rights Reserved