The Allure Of The $1.00 Burrito

As always, I never mention companies by name, however, I drop enough hints that you can usually figure it out for yourself.  As is the case here, I will give you the clue, this restaurant rings in your ear with the absolutely bogus pretention of being a Mexican restaurant.  The other day, I happen to be near said illusionist restaurant, when I noticed several millennials with jeans drooping around their knees piling into this wonderland of deception.

What is the attraction to this corporate house of poison?  Where droves of mesmerized millennials flock like moths to the flame or a mouse towards a cheese baited trap.  The parent corporation of this millennial magnet is one the largest cola soft drink makers in the world who also happens to own many of the other more popular junk food brands.  This place is a strange oddity in land crowded with junk food options at every corner on every block.

So, with my curiosity peaked, I decide to let my junk food guard down and find out what exactly is so special about this place.  Upon entering the establishment, you find an endless parade of plastic looking accouterment that gives an appearance of easy clean with one swipe of a cloth.  Obviously, the place is ready for any kind of spill or projectile discharge (they must have plenty of experience with these kinds of events).

What you are instantly greeted with is the answer to the mystery, a life-size poster/sign indicating a $1.00 burrito special that jumps out at you like a “danger ahead” sign.  After a diligent wait behind the countless number of youths (yutes) who look at you like you are a grandpa in a one-night-stand night club, I made my selection of 2 $1.00 burritos.  In an ironic twist, I realize that the person taking my order is older than I am, who also looks at me with a “one of these things does not belong” look.

So, I procured my $1.00 delights and set off for home to find the answer to the mystery of this culinary enigma.  Once at home, I set down to what will surely be a hearty $2.00 delicacy, however, with the first bite—mystery solved!  The first bite revealed that it is the cost of the food, not the quality of taste that attracts the yutes.  The initial look of the unwrapped burrito seems legit, they do resemble burritos.  Then the taste of stale-ass on a cracker that has been salted to death hits your taste buds like a garbage truck in heat of summer.

The visit to this store opens my eyes even wider to the condition of the US customer and the American marketplace.  First, corporations continue to make billions luring, then selling millions of unsuspecting, low-income diners their low-cost poison.  Then, there are the 50+ aged citizens who work at these plastic diners in addition to the other three jobs that must work to survive.

This restaurant chain truly represents some of the things that are wrong in America; stagnating wages that have forever destroyed our taste buds and never rising income that makes its jobs vital to even older Americans.  Wholesome foods are now something that can only be found at the Smithsonian Institute (you can’t even see it right now as the government is closed), a distant memory in a world where pre-processed, plastic, instant foods reign supreme.  For those of you who have not seen the movie “Idiocracy”, you need to rent it tonight and watch the fast food vending machine scene (hilarious).  Believe me, as a college graduate, I fully understand the allure of getting dinner with your couch change (however, in my case, it was beer), but we still were able to get real food.

We are now living in the age of everything cheap (at least those of us in the real world), where complete meals can be bought for $2.00 and we can worry about higher healthcare costs later (and believe me, they are coming after a lifelong diet of this shit).  To say that Americans need to get back to a wholesome lifestyle is an understatement, however, living on a sofa budget gives us the $1.00 burrito lifestyle.

Talk To Ya Later

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