I’ll Take My In Vitro Steak Medium Rare Please

In the latest of what can surely be categorized as a WTF? moment, we now have edible meat grown in a laboratory.  Now, I am told not to panic as this new laboratory created miracle is actually healthier for me than real meat (especially beef).  Yea, sure, but they said the same thing about artificial sweeteners, didn’t they?   Those of you who are old enough might remember that they once said that cigarettes were healthy. No, really, they did!

Don’t get me wrong here, I am for anything that will stop these corporate bastards from raising animals in an inhumane manner.  And the pollution being released by the corporate owned farms are helping drive us to near extinction.  Certainly, if the healthy aspect of this lab experiment gone-right holds up, then absolutely, this in vitro delight might be worthy of the early praise that it is receiving.  Recent reports have said that the “new meat” has not yet received the blessing of our designated food gods, so a little patience is needed.

I remember when the plant-based meat replacement products made their debut (I am still waiting to be impressed).  I have yet to find any of those products that truly taste like meat of any variety.  As a teenager, I spent a couple of years working summer jobs sweeping out barges on the Mississippi River.  Many of these barges contained soybeans in them that had gotten wet and rotted.   Let me tell you straight up, once you have smelled rotting soybeans you will never forget it, the stench is very unique.  One of the side effects of this experience was that I could walk into any burger joint and tell you if they were selling soy-burgers or not (you probably remember that, a lot of places sold them).

I guess that nightmarish experience lives within me as I cannot do any of the soy-based meat product to this day.  I know, that as a liberal type of a person it is tough to admit that I love beef, pork, and chicken, but the truth is—I do!  I guess because I grew up eating actual meat, I developed the love for it, and I would have a difficult time becoming a vegetarian.  In recent years, however, I am thinking about it more, as the development of corporate farms has shed a new light what animal cruelty is.  Chickens are stuffed into cages that are so small that if let out of them, they cannot walk or stand.  Cattle are being herded into pens where they barely have enough room to move one inch in either direction.  I guess this is another consequence of our gluttony.

Meanwhile, back to this test-tube meat, I have some very serious reservations about this experiment.  Things that are artificially developed, especially food can take several years to expose bad side effects or issues.  And, how do I know that they didn’t get my piece of steak mixed up with a cloned sheep or worse a replacement human organ?  Probably not much difference in the taste—just saying.  Will we eventually be able to buy a kit similar to an “Easy Bake Oven” or a “Skilcraft Chemistry Set” and make our own artificial meat product?  Or maybe it can be done under a black light with your cannabis (for those of you who do that kind of thing).

Talk to Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved