Black–Friday The 13th,14th,15th—-

The turkey has barely come out of the oven and the tryptophan has not yet cast its sleepy spell on folks when many stores open their doors on Thanksgiving Day. They no longer wait for the calamitous black Friday to launch its war on unsuspecting customers.  The doors of stores now open just after dinner time and everyone now excuses themselves from the holiday to rush off to retail hell and begin their annual ritual of buying shit that no one really needs or can afford.  You don’t even get time anymore to digest before shuffling off on your mission to beat everyone else to the stores and secure those fantastic discounts.

“But wait there’s more!”, the retail giants have come up with a brand-new scheme to entice you into their spider-like retail web.  One week before the dark day of shopping hell, the major, corporate marketers put out large boxes wrapped in paper (some in black, others in wrapping paper) with signs that say, “be here on Friday to see what specials and giveaways are in these boxes”.  So, it is no longer effective to just have sale items on “Black Friday”, but now we have to tease customers like children who can’t wait to open their wrapped Christmas gifts under the tree, giddy with the excitement of free goodies.  My theory, as is many others is that nothing is free.

To make matters worse, these boxes are huge and located in the main entrance area of the store and cause a human traffic jam.  Of course, knowing that foot traffic gets slowed, there are tons of point-of-purchase items right there to catch your attention and take your money.  Leading the way are tons of candy which has every child in the store glued to them like sticky traps for mice.  This, of course, leads to the epic confrontation of parent and child with both blocking my entrance to the store.  Jeezo-all I needed was a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread!

It almost feels like these corporate mega-mart stores are small and very cramped, even smaller than the old family-run stores of years past.  And the atmosphere in these stores during the darkest of Fridays feels like the inside of the cage being used for a “Texas Death Match”.  People literally race through the place looking for the ultimate bargains with little to no regard for their fellow humans.  I have witnessed brawls that had more humanity and compassion.  It seems like this one day of the year sparks a psychosis in human beings that is like flipping the switch on a buzz saw or even worse releasing bloodthirsty hounds after a wounded rabbit.

I have an idea here, why don’t we abandon gluttony and return the days of buying gifts that have sentimental value or maybe usefulness (i.e. books).  How many televisions, cell phones, or devices where you can tell it what to do for you as it spies on you, do you need?  It has been gluttony that has led us to this world of mega shopping hell where malls now sit vacant and online shopping monarchs steal your money.  Do you not see the spell that these corporate bastards have put over you?  Stare deeply into the swirling light and when you wake up you will have your credit card in your hands and some poor sap’s blood on your feet.

Maybe it is time for us to return to the age of celebrating “the holidays” with the spirit of enjoying family, friends, food and of course spiked eggnog.  Forget the gifts, let’s just raise our glasses and toast each other or just get toasted. Let’s just enjoy the essence of the holidays and the goodwill that they are supposed to bring.  Maybe we can learn to be civil again and not turn into rabid animals with the me-only attitude.  Once we accomplish this then maybe Old Grumpy can go shopping and burn off the tryptophan in peace on the day after Thanksgiving.  As always, this is just my opinion.

Talk to Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved