Breaking News–Santa Claus Sacked: Jolly Old Elf Joins Rest Of Staff In Unemployment Line!

The once-thriving North Pole has finally been reduced to empty buildings that used to house a robust toy and gift making industry.  The trend, started by monopolistic, ginormous retailers who sell cheaply built products produced in countries that have low wages and no benefits have eliminated elf positions at the North Pole. This trend started over 25 years ago and has not let up, leaving many elves jobless and on the welfare dole.  The workshops that used to be thriving with gift building are now rotting hulks that dot the landscape like unsightly litter.  Elves are finding it hard to get new, good-paying jobs as the cost of adult retraining and education are out of their reach.  Many find their health failing as they no longer have insurance and medical expenses are soaring.

Now, you can add one more victim to this global economic employment malaise–Santa Claus.  The jolly old elf has been replaced by drones that crowd the air space with package deliveries to almost every doorstep.  So, the days of the chimney and fireplace being the hub of Christmas gift delivery has now been replaced by the vestibule and front porch as the new delivery place of the remote-controlled Santa and reindeer.  It was just last year that we saw a commercial showing how Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer had been replaced by automation in the form of expensive luxury and sports automobiles.  Santa, who at that time seemed to be relishing his new sleigh team and ride but now finds himself out on his jolly, fat ass as automation finally got him.  The reindeer most feel somehow vindicated.

Now that Santa has Christmas Eve off, for that matter the rest of the year as well, what will he do with himself?  Will he be relegated to ringing a bell out in front of the corporate stores that destroyed his career?  Since the malls are disappearing, he will not be able to find work letting small children sit on his lap.  And where will all the letters to Santa go—to the Christmas drone factory?  I can see the letters now: “Oh please Christmas drone, this year I would like a new bowling ball”—p.s. if it is too heavy for you to carry, could you just put it on one of those brown trucks please?”.  It seems that Santa is hanging up his bag and sleigh bells for good.

It is probable that Santa will have to do what millions of other people who have lost their jobs will do, work three part-time jobs to make ends meet.  And since his retirement plan was wiped out in 2008, he will be working until he is 1772 years old (just like other unemployed workers).  I guess you will see him at your favorite fast-food restaurant, handing your order out the drive-thru window.  Or maybe he will be the greeter giving you your shopping cart at a large, oligarchic, corporate store.  Or maybe and perish the thought here—cleaning bathrooms or reindeer stalls.  There is always the gig-economy thing, he and the Ms. have a lot of crafting skills and could go on that show with the wealthy ass-wipe business bozos who might invest in their idea.

In all seriousness here is the fact; technology and AI are becoming a serious threat to the income-earning ability of millions and creating permanent job loss.  But what is equally sad here is that the holidays have finally been completely destroyed by our corporate masters and their technology-driven greed.  Nothing is left to the imagination anymore and we no longer find any relief in the comfort once offered by the break in the monotony that the holidays used to bring us.  This commercialized, mechanized trend afflicting the holidays started when I was a kid and has just about reached its conclusion.  What it has left us with is a mechanized world with no imagination or magic to draw our attention away from world strife and customer grief.  As always, this is just my opinion.  Merry Christmas!

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