The Grumpy Old Fart Customer

You have probably noticed lately that there are a few options available when it comes to your TV and Internet providers.  Recently, I decided to change providers. After years with an old, legacy provider, I felt that the quality of the service was below standards.  Constant internet interruptions, slow loading of streaming programs and frequent tv reception problems have begged the question; are the other guys better, maybe cheaper?  Could the other providers be as bad for the same or less money?

Unfortunately, I live in a smaller metropolitan area where the competition for cable/satellite providers is now down to two major players. There is the old legacy company that I currently use and another that was formed out a major merger.  Three smaller providers who offer service in our area; however, they are much more expensive, and cannot compete, especially when offering “packaged service” and higher speed options and they rely on a wireless network to get service to your door.  So, control of hard wire services now lies in the hands of the few.

So, I only have one choice to change the service in the hopes of achieving 1999 internet speed and upload a movie in less than an hour?  Ok, I might be exaggerating here a little but sometimes the service can be a little shaky and certainly not as good as in larger cities.  Now, I realize that some people will say “you get what you get in a smaller market”, but I would like to point out the advances in technologies over the last few years including cell phones frying our brains a 5G speed.

It seems like we should get a better product, certainly for the exorbitant cost of subscribing to these providers.  Whatever happened to anti-trust laws that were supposed to protect customers from predatory business practices?  It is apparent that every type of business has suffered a reduction in competition, thus, limiting the choice of us hardworking customers.  Certainly, the communications industries are no exception, they have merged into mega-corporate behemoths.

Here’s where the story gets interesting; after deciding to change providers, I contacted my current provider to inquire about the requirements of returning their equipment.  Once I finally got a human on the line (a momentous accomplishment), I was hit with more questions (tortuous in its own right) than was used in the Spanish Inquisition. The representative’s job is to resign/save this account.  The representative went out off their way to point out how virtuous this (old/stale) provider was and the benefits of having their services.

Then, we finally get to the part of this program that frosts my ass—the offer of a better package for a lower cost!  Yes, the slick talking, most complimentary rep (mentioning valued customer numerous times) hits me with the deal that will keep me on board as their helpless slave for another year.  But wait, there’s more after I rejected the better package deal, this gifted wonder from customer service purgatory decides to drop the “big one”, offering my current package for half price for one year (if I sign a two-year deal), and offering all new receiver equipment.

Ahh, where to start!  First, if I am such a “valued-customer” why wait so long to offer me a better deal?  Shouldn’t this happen every time I renew my contract?  Maybe even send me a card before renewal time to offer a little discount to sweeten the pot?  If I am such a great damn customer, would it kill them to offer some weeks of other package previews to determine if I would want an upgrade?  Oh no, they save all of that for when you are ready to leave their apathetic ass, then they pull out the reserves, the big guns baby!

All of this leads us back to the same place every time; the dominance of oligarchy business over the lives of customers.  The powerful takeover of the large corporations reducing the number of competitors in any given market, not only leading to price fixing but the degradation of quality services offered to paying customers.  We, customers, are constantly left with the choice of dealing with shitty service or living without.  This what being a customer means in the good ole US.   I may sound like a whiner, but I believe in and support all of you customers out there!

Talk To Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @ 2019 All Rights Reserved

Another product recall has occurred, this time it was unbleached flour.  You know, that stuff you bake and coat food with.  Once again salmonella is the culprit of food recalls.  It seems that no food product is safe from this nasty little bacterium, even packaged food products.  Health departments are flummoxed by these outbreaks and care rarely identify their source.  While it may not be related, some serious concerns have arisen regarding food packaging plants.

I want to share with you some experience that I have with food packaging plants and related facilities.  Recently, I spent 90 days doing a project for a food packaging group in the Midwest.  My first day inside one off the plants resulted in a “shock and awe” moment, the drop of the jaw and the “you’re freaking kidding me, right?” reaction.  The first plant I visited loaded baking products and the place resembled what I believe would be hell if there is one.  The temperature inside the plant was stifling and the air was so full of dust that you needed Neil Armstrong’s moon suit to survive.

Most of the people inside of these plants were not wearing dust masks, when asked why, most responded with “they are not OSHA required”, –holy shit!  Despite constant sweeping of the flours, they remained filthy, and the place resembled a sand dune from a science fiction movie.  A remarkable thing was that the outside temperature was only 80 degrees that day but when the mercury climbs into the 90s the place is twice as unbearable.  Couple that with the fact that most these workers made less than $9.00 per hour, well below the desired minimum wage of $15.00, and you have all the makings of a prisoner of war movie.

But here is the part that most relates to this blog; the plants that I visited had a serious issue with rodents and birds, now, if memory serves here, isn’t that two of the biggest offenders in the salmonella world?  When I asked some of the plant workers how pest control is handled in these plants, I was told that the company designates an employee (in good standing) to oversee those duties.  “You don’t use an outside pest control company?”  “Nope”.  Yikes!  “Are the employees trained?”  “A little”.  Double yikes!

The experience left me a little dazed, it is an absolute wonder that more people do not get sick or die from food packaged in some of these places.  Isn’t it bad enough that many of the ingredients in processed food today are not good for us?  Then you add unsanitary packing conditions and introduce bacteria that make us sick.  All these plants package low-cost name brand and generic foods for discount stores.  I have been watching a timepiece series that shows how bad the food was back in the castle and kingdom days, you know, where the peasants were told: “let them eat cake”.  I believe we may be back in those days.

Let’s be honest here, low paid workers packaging food for other low wage earners, this isn’t going to end well.  As salaries stagnate and companies continue to use cost-cutting measures, I believe we will see an increase in salmonella and possibly other contaminations in the very near future.  This is how things are for the lower income family customers—-let them eat salmonella!

Talk To Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved

So, after you reach the age of 60 and beyond, you end up on a list of phone numbers called by the scum of the earth to try and swindle you out of your money.  I had seen numerous videos of people who receive these calls and string these scabby pricks along for nearly an hour before blowing their cover.  After receiving a voice message from one of these wastes of oxygen, I decided to take my turn at having some fun.

Upon calling the number left for me (which was routed through one of the telephone number rental locations), I was greeted by a man with a heavy accent, on a phone system that had such bad call quality that it had to have been on a VOIP system (voice over internet).  I could barely hear this useless sludge of life talk and had to keep asking over and over what he was saying.

Finally, I was told that I had underpaid my taxes over the last 3 years and owed a balance of $5,945.00.  He then asked me for my name (funny, but wouldn’t you ask that first?),  after giving him the name Mike Hunt (many of you might remember that as an old joke to call a busy bar and ask them to page the name—say it really fast and you will get it), he then wanted to verify that I would either fight this with the IRS or I would accept my guilt and pay the back taxes plus fines.  The man never asked for my address.

So, I played the role of an elderly man who was quite upset and after dragging the situation out for about 15 minutes, the man on the phone told me that I need to go to one of my local pharmacies and get a gift card then call him back.  Again, I laid numerous questions on this half-wit, acting very upset and surely deserving of that Oscar that I have always wanted (not sure who I would thank first—probably the imbecile who took my call).

After another 10 minutes of Academy Award-winning performance, the knucklehead, totally exasperated, called me a m_____ f_____!  Golly gee wilikers, these guys have no sense of humor.  I really find it amazing that there are people out there who fall for these cheesy, stupid play acting performed by people with names like Joe, who really don’t sound like someone named Joe.  There probably are.

What ticks me off about this whole scenario is that the phone companies in the US who rent out banks of calling numbers with no regard to what these numbers might be used for, do not have a tighter set of regulations regarding how the numbers are used.  Or maybe, the blame should be placed on the regulatory agencies (mainly the FCC) for not prohibiting this kind of constant fraud via US phone systems.  I realize that many of you will say “you have to be smarter than these scammers are” and your right, however, and unfortunately, there are many senior citizens out there who are easy targets for these scum bags.

Besides all of that, we as customers who pay hard earned money for phone usage be it landline or cell phone and we really deserve a better system without these kinds of scams and hassles.  It is amazing how the US can now track every living being on this planet, but we can’t find scammers who use our phone networks.  Maybe I have been too hard on the individuals who participate in this horribly planned scam, the US has certainly spent its fair share of time stealing from others.  But it seems to me that you would have more pride in your existence here on this planet and would want to do more with your life than trying to steal money from unsuspecting citizens.  Once again, this all reeks of the global greed that continuously looks to steal our money with no regard for human life or dignity.  Be cautious, there seems to be a ton of scams happening out there!

Talk To Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved

Most Americans are familiar with the different, so-called retirement plans often offered by employers. Plans such as the 401k and 403b are the retirement vehicles most used in the US.  They usually include some form of “company participation”, which usually equates to a matching contribution up to a certain % of funds—yada, yada.  These plans are usually explained to an employee by some slick talking sales representative who makes it sound like all your woes are over.

Recently, a friend of mine showed me their most recent 403b statement, I was stunned that this person’s plan had lost over $4,500 for the year 2018.  I know that the stock market performed poorly in the last few weeks of the month of December 2018, but I had no idea that it was bad enough to cause such a loss of funds for my friend.  And after all, isn’t there a fund manager of some variety to manage those funds and make the necessary changes to avoid losses?  According to most of the “experts” out there 401k and 403b are classified as “pensions”, as such they are usually managed in a similar fashion.

I decided to do a little investigating, well, because—I’m “Grumpy”!  After locating some articles regarding 401k and 403bs, I discovered some rather amusing facts.  Many of the financial advisors out there claim that these so-called “pensions” have been used as purchasing devices for “derivatives” from large financial institutions.  For those of you who don’t know what “derivatives” are, just simply go back to the financial crash of 2008-09, they were packages of bad debt that nearly collapsed our financial system.

Apparently, the purchase of these moldy shit packages by fund managers is legal and are covered by the “you could lose money” clause in the fine print of your soon to be a broke retirement fund.  So, it seems that these bad investment vehicles did not die but instead they have been given a new life as another way to f—k hard-working customers.  The purchase of these bad debts sends cash from a hard-working American’s account to banks who need to cover bad debts and their arses!  Customers are not even given a kiss or a tube of Vaseline to at least ease the pain of the screwing that they take.

So, it just goes on-and-on-and-on, at every turn, we the customers of America get screwed out of our money by the large corporation “fat-cats” who make billions.  I am going to start watching for a sale on yellow vests here soon!

Talk to Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved

By now, you know my feelings about fast food-the corporate poison that has done it’s best to destroy America.  When you can put a hamburger in a terrarium for a year and it doesn’t rot away (they did this with one of the leading burgers), you know something is not quite right with the ingredients.  Then there is the absolute lack of anything recognized in most developed nations as nutrition.

So, this past week, our fearless leader in Washington, DC, in the absence of laid-off federal workers (chefs) decided to take the Presidential motorcade through the drive-up window and order food for the Clemson University football team.  It is an annual tradition for the winners of the national collegiate football title to visit the Whitehouse and be congratulated by the President of the United States.  This year was no different except for the fact that most of the White House staff had been given temporary pink slips.

This left our dear President with a dilemma-how to prepare a meal for nearly 130 robust athlete appetites.  Never fear, fast food is here!  Never at a loss for corporate promotion, the President turned to that All-American staple—the fast food restaurant.  Running up a tab of over $5,000 (which must have flummoxed the window staff), the president ordered a smorgasbord of American delicacy delights.  I wonder how many kid meals were included (c’mon half of these players are 18 years old) and did the president use some of the tons of coupons that he surely gets in his daily mail like the rest of us.

I think that it speaks volumes, that our nutritional values have sunk to such a level of depravity that home-cooked meals are something that is forgotten except in books of historical recounting.  I have no doubt that many of these young Clemson athletes were stoked at the thought of having the same meal that they get all over the campus daily, except this one was served at the Whitehouse.   The President could have had some of his personal (Mira-Lago) staff prepare a wholesome meal for these young men and could have tried to restore some actual family or former American values, not to mention nutritional value.

If we are going to “Make America Great Again”, why can’t we do it at the dinner table?  The dinner table was the place where family and friends could enjoy conversation, comradery, and a decent meal.  Instead, let’s desecrate a tradition with the corporate poison and slave labor that is symbolized by the fast food logos that pollute main street.  Maybe after the meal the Clemson team could have been served Jell-O shots, cheap bourbon or detergent pods.

We continue to make a mockery of traditions in this country in the name of political in-fighting and grandstanding that only serves to make us look like idiots.  Maybe it is time to take a closer look at ourselves and see what we can do better.

Talk To Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved

As always, I never mention companies by name, however, I drop enough hints that you can usually figure it out for yourself.  As is the case here, I will give you the clue, this restaurant rings in your ear with the absolutely bogus pretention of being a Mexican restaurant.  The other day, I happen to be near said illusionist restaurant, when I noticed several millennials with jeans drooping around their knees piling into this wonderland of deception.

What is the attraction to this corporate house of poison?  Where droves of mesmerized millennials flock like moths to the flame or a mouse towards a cheese baited trap.  The parent corporation of this millennial magnet is one the largest cola soft drink makers in the world who also happens to own many of the other more popular junk food brands.  This place is a strange oddity in land crowded with junk food options at every corner on every block.

So, with my curiosity peaked, I decide to let my junk food guard down and find out what exactly is so special about this place.  Upon entering the establishment, you find an endless parade of plastic looking accouterment that gives an appearance of easy clean with one swipe of a cloth.  Obviously, the place is ready for any kind of spill or projectile discharge (they must have plenty of experience with these kinds of events).

What you are instantly greeted with is the answer to the mystery, a life-size poster/sign indicating a $1.00 burrito special that jumps out at you like a “danger ahead” sign.  After a diligent wait behind the countless number of youths (yutes) who look at you like you are a grandpa in a one-night-stand night club, I made my selection of 2 $1.00 burritos.  In an ironic twist, I realize that the person taking my order is older than I am, who also looks at me with a “one of these things does not belong” look.

So, I procured my $1.00 delights and set off for home to find the answer to the mystery of this culinary enigma.  Once at home, I set down to what will surely be a hearty $2.00 delicacy, however, with the first bite—mystery solved!  The first bite revealed that it is the cost of the food, not the quality of taste that attracts the yutes.  The initial look of the unwrapped burrito seems legit, they do resemble burritos.  Then the taste of stale-ass on a cracker that has been salted to death hits your taste buds like a garbage truck in heat of summer.

The visit to this store opens my eyes even wider to the condition of the US customer and the American marketplace.  First, corporations continue to make billions luring, then selling millions of unsuspecting, low-income diners their low-cost poison.  Then, there are the 50+ aged citizens who work at these plastic diners in addition to the other three jobs that must work to survive.

This restaurant chain truly represents some of the things that are wrong in America; stagnating wages that have forever destroyed our taste buds and never rising income that makes its jobs vital to even older Americans.  Wholesome foods are now something that can only be found at the Smithsonian Institute (you can’t even see it right now as the government is closed), a distant memory in a world where pre-processed, plastic, instant foods reign supreme.  For those of you who have not seen the movie “Idiocracy”, you need to rent it tonight and watch the fast food vending machine scene (hilarious).  Believe me, as a college graduate, I fully understand the allure of getting dinner with your couch change (however, in my case, it was beer), but we still were able to get real food.

We are now living in the age of everything cheap (at least those of us in the real world), where complete meals can be bought for $2.00 and we can worry about higher healthcare costs later (and believe me, they are coming after a lifelong diet of this shit).  To say that Americans need to get back to a wholesome lifestyle is an understatement, however, living on a sofa budget gives us the $1.00 burrito lifestyle.

Talk To Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved

Every time I go into a filling station these days, it seems like there’s a never-ending number of things that disgust you.  First, the space by the pumps that you drive up to are very disgustingly dirty, it seems as if these places have never been cleaned.  You would think that at some point they could steam clean the spots to at least make them reasonable instead of a place that just openly repulses you.

But the worst thing about these convenience stores are the pumps where you get your fuel.  Most of the pumps have been there since these gas stations opened, many of them have never been worked on and even fewer of them have ever been replaced.  Most of the writing on these pumps have long since been wiped away by constant use and the screens on all these pumps are virtually impossible to read especially in direct sunlight.

So, you swipe your credit card and you cannot read the next instruction that comes up on the screen especially in direct sunlight, you virtually have no idea what to do next.  The screens on these pumps are so abused, old and sun faded that they are virtually impossible to read, how am I supposed to know what to do next?  And of course, there are the little voice devices that irritate you about needing a Coke or chips.  If I wanted a soda or chips that is where I would be—ass-wipe.

Once your credit card is cleared, then you make the selection of the fuel grade that you would like to use, this generally requires pushing a button that will activate your fuel selection.  These buttons are so worn out, that you virtually must punch the machine like you are training for a prize fight.  It is obvious that these buttons are bad when you push them the whole face of the machine folds in.  What would normally be a five-minute operation becomes 15-minute frustration.

Look, I get the fact that it cost money to upgrade equipment and to keep the premises clean.  I totally understand Sara Title 3 which restricts runoff of any facility, but occasionally isn’t worth it to keep customers happy and feeling good about their choice of vendor?  Hell, you might even sell more chips and Coke to me if I didn’t feel like I must escape the place because of the filth or aggravation.

The leaky old pumps that seem to dominate the convenience store scene are enough to make you pray for electric cars.  I know there are some exceptions to this rule, so why can’t every other convenience store corporation follow the same “best practices” or maybe discount their fuel prices to offset the filth and frustration.  I’m just sayin!

Talk to Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @ 2019 All Rights Reserved

Recently, I wrote in this blog about some bad product purchases that I had recently made at the store with the smiling faces.  Well, it has happened again.  This time, it was a loaf of a popular brand of bread that has been around for years.  As is customary for me, I reached well into the back of the bread rack hoping to find the newer, fresher loaf of bread (I wrote about this practice in an earlier blog).

The bread seemed fresh to the touch (or squeeze if you prefer), but after opening the loaf, I found it to be rather stale.  This seems to be happening more frequently in the local markets of our community.  As I have pointed out before, the quality and freshness of our products are declining.

So here is my question: If products are older, stale or just plain rotten, shouldn’t there a label or sign that indicates the situation?  Now, granted, some stores are putting labels on products that say, “Manager’s Special”, then they are marked down lower that of similar products.  I guess this is better than a label that says “Warning: product may taste like stale ass”.

But these labels are still disingenuous as they make it sound like the store manager is doing you a favor by dropping the price on a piece of shit product.  The “managers special” generally refers to one of the recommended products at a store or a restaurant.  Imagine walking into a restaurant and reading on a sign that tonight’s “Manager Special” is a stale, moldy ham and cheese on rye and for an extra $1.00 you can add a soda that has been open for 3 days.

All I am saying here is that some honesty would be appreciated where the quality of store-bought items is concerned.  Maybe a sign on the discounted products that indicate that reduced price items may not have the same freshness quality.  However, the bread that I purchased was still priced at the premium level and should maybe have been marked down.

Maybe this exposes a different problem.  With the increase in bad quality products, is it possible that there is some redistribution of distressed products?  I live in a smaller community located some 60 miles from a major metropolitan area.  Is my community receiving repackaged, dumped products from the major city?  Where bread is concerned, it is certain that the items in the back of rack are usually fresh.

Is there a practice of moving “distressed product” into smaller, unaware markets?  After so many days, are older products moved to the smaller markets to avoid a complete loss on the item?  I have noticed lately that the quality of vegetables in our market has declined greatly as well.  Maybe this is a call to 60 Minutes and launch a crack team of investigators.  What a rib tickler, no one ever comes to this town.

But, the fact remains, customers in any town or city should get quality/fresh products no matter what the price.  Our dollars are just as valuable as anyone’s and we should receive good quality!

Talk To Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved

As we have learned this week, most of the Kmart stores (especially in the Midwest) will be closing and all assets liquidated.  This is a sort of melancholy moment for me as I fondly remember growing up with these stores.  It was always a treat to be in Kmart when the announcement came over the store PA system that there was “a sale in the toy department, just look for the flashing blue light”.

Truthfully, it had more meaning when it was in the boys clothing department as it meant a new pair of knock-off jeans or school clothes for me.  The flashing blue light was like a pocket watch to a hypnotist, drawing in mesmerized, penny-pinching shoppers.  No matter what department it was in, it drew everyone from all four corners of the store.  It could be a special in the mothball department and people would still flock to it.

Kmart is part of the Sears Holding Company, which itself is in danger of liquidation.  Although we are being told just how great our economy is, many retailers are collapsing.  Wall Street continues to reshape our retail landscape, wiping out competition to the few monopolistic empires that control our shopping choices.  At this pace, there will soon be very few choices left to offer you goods and services.

However, I do see some hope in this trend, as this may open the door for the return of the boutique style stores that once graced our villages.  This is probably not a realistic vision, as wages continue to stagnate and most small stores must charge higher prices to survive.  The cost of doing business today is staggering for small retailers and is generally not an attractive business model.

As a kid, I thought Kmart and the blue light was a cool thing (especially being lower middle class) but it may have been the beginning of our retail doom.  Kmart itself was responsible for the demise of many small, specialty, family-owned stores that once lined main street majestically.  But, when you grew up with less wealth, it was great having the discount stores that allowed you to have new clothes for the school year.

I don’t believe, at least in my lifetime, that the main street, mom and pop stores will ever return.  Maybe someday, when we figure out how to bring back decent paying, meaningful jobs, we will see quality return to the shopping experience.  In the meantime, it is sad to see Kmart go (replaced by the swooshing dick and the smiley face) but even sadder to see corporations and Wall Street dictate our options.

Talk to Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @ 2019 All Rights Reserved

This blog was created to be a place where we bitch about the lousy way, we customers are treated.  Let’s face it there is a lot to bitch about out there.  Seems like every trip to the supermarket is another exercise in shopping futility, rife with never-ending hassles that make the whole experience trying.  So, we customers need to rise up and speak out!

Unfortunately, this week showed us how a few bad apples can really f—- up the deal.  I give you the Jackass in Florida who decided to assault a petite young girl who is only trying to do her job.  This idiot was angry because there were no straws out on the counter for customer access.  Many states are putting laws in place to help reduce the number of straws that are going into our environment.

Let’s face it, there is an island of plastic and trash in the Pacific Ocean that is roughly twice the size of Texas.  There are many other trash piles out there almost as big.  We must start thinking about reducing the amount of shit that we are poisoning our environment with every day.  Maybe the concept of steel straws is a better solution, hell, if you throw them in the oceans, at least they will sink.

Meanwhile, back to the Jackass.  No matter what the reason for not having the straws out on the counter, it does not give anyone a license to commit assault.  Some reports have indicated that this ass-wipe may have been intoxicated, that still does not give him the right to pick on someone smaller than he is.

However, I must tell you that I am proud of that young lady, she was throwing some freakin haymakers at this twit while defending herself.  She fought like a tiger against some half-whit over twice her size and was not about to stop.  I have a daughter and hope that I have prepared her half as well to deal with shitheads like that guy.

Look, there are some legitimate cases of customer neglect or even abuse, but this is not one of them.  If something is not available, simply ask but always remember the person whom you are asking probably had nothing to do with the decision that is involved here.  These folks behind the counter are working people just like us, in fact, they probably work for a lot less per hour.  Corporations and their minions make the decisions, take it out on them.  I must tell you though, in this situation, I completely agree with the decision to remove straws from the counter.

Finally, there have been some suggestions that this incident could be racially motivated, this would be something that I can no longer fathom.  People are people, no matter what their race, creed, color, religion or any other factor of identification.  We must shed the hatred that is plaguing our nation like a contagion that has no cure.

I will tell you this straight up; Grumpy will keep bitchin when customers are treated badly, but you will never see him attack someone over these irritations.  Hmmm, unless I can get my hands on the corporate pricks that keep stealing our money, just kidding, no violence here—-just laughter!

Talk to Ya Later

The Grumpy Old Fart Customer @2019 All Rights Reserved